How does a healthy romantic relationship work? – Part 1/3: Level 6 on the intimacy scale

Healthy couple

The amount of intimacy which is exchanged amongst each other in romantic relationships is the maximum intimacy known to mankind. This fact can be shown in numerous sagas, legends, songs or other forms of narration in all past and present societies. In Eurocentric/Western society, this can be found in popular culture in songs, movies, television series and advertisement.

Marriage ritual words such as “in good times and in bad times, until death do us part” depict the longing after (a) fulfilled romantic relationship(s) without an expiration date. The key element is sharing each others’ lives which enables the possibility of reaching the greatest amount of intimacy as well as the most personal advancement.

Mutual participation in each other’s life decisions thereby has to be a fundamental right of all individuals involved in a romantic relationship. Because in order to mutual participation in each other’s life decisions thereby has to be a fundamental right of all individuals involved in a romantic relationship. Because in order to spend each other’s life together, all aspects must be negotiable with applied consent and respect. Agreements must be reached by means of discussion, until all individuals involved are content. If any person wishes changes, an adjustment of the agreement is necessary, again under participation of all individuals involved where everyone has to apply consent and respect. This especially concerns life decisions, thus decisions, which have an impact on the entire further life. These are the following:

  • The mutual sex life as a couple
  • The sexual openness of the relationship (= whether or how the individuals involved have sex with other people)
  • The place of residence
  • Whether having a pet or raising a child is desired, and if yes, how many of them
  • The romantic openness of the relationship (= whether and how the individuals involved want to live a polyamorous lifestyle)

People, with whom I share an intimacy level other than Level 6, do not have a right of participation in my life decisions: If I were to change my place of residence in such a way that fewer communication is possible, good friends will most certainly be sad about that. However, their participation in my decision to move is neither a necessity nor a responsibility for both sides. On the contrary, if one of your friends wishes to veto your decision, they most certainly suck as a friend concerning other issues, too, since they don’t understand how a true friendship (Level 5) works.

A romantic relationship in the sense of Level 6 does have a right of participation in my life decisions: If I wish our romantic level to become or stay stable, I have to negotiate about my wish to move and reach an agreement which all individuals involved are content with:

  • My romantic relationship moves together with me
  • I do not change my place of residence after all
  • The distance between my new place of residence and the place of residence of my romantic relationship(s) is accepted by all individuals involved